Excerpts from James' conversation with Joel:
On whether being kiasu is a good or bad thing: I think we still are (kiasu). If you look around, you talk about parents who are so obsessed with getting their children to the best schools. There's a bunch of parents who call themselves kiasu parents. They actually share notes about where's the best school and that kind of stuff.
If you look at the way Singaporeans drive, it's a giveaway. I always laugh at this because I think generally, we want to be ahead. So I don't think it has changed. It's just different forms of it.
On learning from failure: I think young people are okay with failure. It's always the parents who tell them, “It’s the end of the world if you don't get through your exams, or (if) you don't score A's.” As a corporate trainer, sometimes I do talk to parents and I tell them that you have to teach them values more than telling them that (they) have to pass (their) exams. (These) values will see them through life.
On the importance of talking to your elders: I think the other way to know about your past is to talk to your parents.
Children ... sometimes forget that the parents have stories to tell them. Fathers and mothers have lots of stories to tell. And if you talk to them and find out about the past, you may appreciate them a little bit more.
My mother used to talk about the Japanese Occupation, how she used to sneak and give away food to the British soldiers who were prisoners of war. So we never really asked too many questions. We just listened to the stories. Now that I'm writing, I'm thinking, I should have asked them more questions.
So I would urge everyone there to talk to your parents. You'll be surprised. If you ask them, they will tell you stories. Because if you don't show any interest, then these stories will just die with them.
(This interview was first broadcast on Jan 15, 2025.)
Listen to the conversation with James on A Letter to Myself. This podcast, hosted by Joel Chua, features people with remarkable life lessons to share and airs every weeknight on CNA938.
If you know someone with an inspiring story, write to cnapodcasts [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
Follow A Letter to Myself on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
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