SINGAPORE: The last thing Lee Hwee Ling expected on her wedding day was to wake up on the floor, surrounded by petrified guests. She was midway through her speech when the world suddenly tilted.

“I said something like, ‘Bob, I don’t feel well. I’m going to pass out,’ and the next thing (I knew), I’d collapsed,” she recounts.

What most guests did not know was that just a month earlier — shortly after celebrating her 30th birthday — Lee had been diagnosed with Stage 4 appendiceal cancer, a rare disease that had spread to her abdomen and ovaries.

By the time she walked down the aisle, she was in the thick of her second round of chemotherapy. The fainting fit, her oncologist later said, was probably brought on by a mix of dehydration, fatigue and stress.

“She looked good,” says husband Bob Yeo, 36. “She probably needed to faint to tell everybody she was actually having cancer (and) chemo.”

Even now, he adds, thinking about that moment gives him “the shudders”.

Given the stage and cell type of Lee’s cancer, remission was a long shot. Instead, she faced a lifetime of treatment for as long as she keeps up the fight.

“Is this really happening?” she recalls thinking. “This is probably a bad dream. I don’t want this to be real.”

At the time, Lee was thriving in a career she loved as a recruitment consultant, with marriage set to mark the start of another exciting chapter.

But cancer had other plans. She underwent a 20-hour surgery to remove her gall bladder, spleen, large intestine and womb. It saved her life but meant giving up her dream of having children.

“You feel like you’ve been denied something,” she says. “I come from a family of four girls … (and) I always knew I wanted to have a relatively large family.”

While she also knew cancer was part of her family’s medical history, nothing prepared her for how early it would come knocking.

“If I have cancer at, say, 70 (or) 80, I guess that’d be … less of a surprise,” she says. “But I was only 30 years old.”

For young people today, though, cancer risk seems higher than before. A 2023 study published in the journal BMJ Oncology found a 79 per cent increase in cancer diagnoses between 1990 and 2019 among those under 50.

As one of three millennials featured in On The Red Dot’s Fighting Cancer series, Lee navigates a life-altering illness while holding on to hope, identity and purpose.

WATCH PART 1: Millennials fighting Stage 4 cancer — How we found out (22:49)

LOVE IS ALL AROUND HER

Since her diagnosis in 2020, Lee has had over 60 chemotherapy sessions, with quarterly scans to monitor the effectiveness of her treatment. Through it all, the love and support of those around her have been a constant source of strength.

Two of her friends, for instance, asked her and Yeo to be the godparents to their son, EJ.

“They were very thoughtful in that they still wanted us to experience what it’s like to have a little child to care for,” Lee says.

“And I love that Bob and I can shower love on him and journey alongside his parents … in bringing him up.”

EJ’s father, Edric Kwok, tells CNA: “I kind of knew that … Bob and Hwee wouldn’t have the opportunity to have a kid, so it’d be quite nice … to have a bigger kind of family who’s involved and guiding EJ.”

Lee’s large family also rallies round her. Yeo and her sister Lee May Ling attend every important medical consultation, especially when there are scan results or decisions to be made.

“Sometimes I do get a bit overwhelmed with the amount of information (given), so they help me kind of process it and then break it down,” she says.

Her mother, Tan Siam Kheng, and sister Lee Su Ling handle the driving and cooking, while her other sister, Lee Jing Hong, helps with injections and stoma bag changes — because, as Lee quips, “she’s probably the least squeamish”.

At times, however, it frustrates her that they can be overbearingly protective. “They always see me at my worst … after chemo,” she says. “That’s when I’m … grumpy, short-tempered (and) tired.”

It has not been an easy road for them either. Yeo remembers the times when he cried alone in the car, assailed by the bad news that can come with cancer treatment.

That is when he finds comfort in his wife’s fighting spirit. “We never (questioned) how long Hwee has left to live,” he says. “The doctors, included, all think that she’s kind of a walking miracle.”

Though their journey “has been quite crazy”, he would not have it any other way.

“You’re my soulmate,” he told her at a dinner. “I know it’s going to be difficult, but … I really, really pray that we continue doing this for the rest of our lives.”

WATCH PART 2: Millennials fighting Stage 4 cancer — Our new life goals (22:46)

All the challenges have only drawn the family closer.

“Now more than ever, I think everybody is committed to the family,” says Lee May Ling. “We now make a real effort to clear our schedules, prioritise spending time together and not take that for granted.”

They also try to “go on living” as normally as possible, says Tan.

“Not many of us can foretell the future,” she notes. “We always tell Hwee that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to get emotional, … (but) with Bob’s love and the sisters’ love, we’re able to do this.”

TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT

For this year, Lee had three wishes: no more health surprises, a chemotherapy break and travel. “Travel’s been a huge thing that I look forward to,” she shares. “In a way, (it) keeps me going (through) every treatment.”

WATCH PART 3: Millennials fighting Stage 4 cancer — Will we survive? (22:48)

Travel offers a bit of an escape from reality, and even more so because of the circumstances, Yeo says.

But in January, doctors discovered a new cancerous growth in Lee’s stomach.

“Obviously not the news we wanted to have, but it is what it is,” she says, as Yeo adds: “We just need to adjust, really fight (and) keep our spirits up.”

She embarked on an intensive 25-session radiotherapy regimen that finished in February, which meant cancelling a long-awaited trip to Japan.

But travel or no travel, she has learnt to “live in the moment” and savour every second spent with loved ones. In a world where doctors’ reports often derail her plans, she focuses on “making the best of each day”.

Her diagnosis has sparked an internal change as well. “In the past, I was quite a people pleaser — very worried about offending people or just wanting to make sure that everybody is happy,” she says.

“But I think I’ve become a lot more assertive in terms of knowing what I want.”

This extends to taking charge of her treatment, letting go of unfulfilling relationships and, perhaps most importantly, protecting her time and personal space.

Her self-confidence grew even with hair loss. “Being bald was something that I thought I’d really struggle with, but in fact, I found it to be quite liberating,” she says.

The same goes for her cancer — she is determined not to let it define how she lives. That is why Lee and her family are looking forward to a getaway next month to the Izu peninsula in Japan.

She is waiting for a scan in June to find out whether the radiotherapy has worked. Come what may, her Christian faith will help fortify her. “Whatever I’m suffering, whatever … discomfort I have, I know that it’s temporary,” she says.

Watch the On The Red Dot series Fighting Cancer here: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. The programme airs on Channel 5 every Friday at 9.30pm.